Michael is driving me to work today & he says, "I probably shouldn't say anything - I don't want to jinx it - but I'm pretty happy right now." Wow. He's never said that! What a wonderful thing to hear!! He said that he's happy with where we're living, he likes his job, he's happy with our marriage, he's pleased that we're tackling our debt & he's enjoying doing cheap fun things with me. Then he starts talking about how he'd be interested in finding out if there's a Metra train that he can take to & from work so I can have the car during the day. I don't know what has contributed to the change in his outlook of things but it's a really great thing. I love that he can say that he's happy. I love that he's thinking about alternative solutions for our daily routine.
As I got to work, one of my co-workers got there with me. Now.. She & I have been finding that we have quite a bit in common and seem to get along pretty great. She's fantastic with putting up with my mood swings, has been a great sounding board and is a genuinely kind person. So yesterday we seemed to be on a similar wavelength. I almost wore my brown shirt with flowers but decided that it's been a while since I've worn my turquoise shirt. So I wore the turquoise shirt with dark blue jeans. She wore dark blue jeans with a turquoise shirt! Everyone was amused with our wardrobe. Then she said that she almost wore brown! LOL Later on in the day, I wanted my Snack Pack pudding that was in my bag. Around the same time, she pulled out a Snack Pack pudding! This morning, while I was putting my purse away, I grabbed my can of Progresso soup and was talking to her and she pulled a can of Progresso soup out of her lunch bag. WTF?!?! :) This is just really funny!
I think that God may be talking to me.. There are things to be happy about and I find that I have the ability to smile and I understand that things are going well for us but there still seems to be something deep down that I'm not truly happy yet. There was a little quiz thing that I took yesterday & it asked, "What makes you happy?" I didn't know how to answer that. I mean, I know the little things that I enjoy doing but to be truly happy? I'm not sure. I think it's this sea of depression that rears its ugly head every so often that's blocking me from seeing the light of true happiness. I do find myself trying to surround myself with good friends that can help me work through it and hope that I'll be able to succeed.
I hope that you all can find happy moments in your day today & every day. I also hope that you get more than a glimpse at happiness and can find what makes you feel truly happy. Michael, I am so happy that you have found it. I love you so much.
~ S
I Just Want to Be Ok by Sarah A. Manning is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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