I am embarrassed to say that it has been about 2 months (yes, months) since my toilet has been cleaned. I've cleaned the kitchen numerous times and vacuumed at least 3-4 times, have washed the dogs and done a LOT of laundry yet somehow, it's always the bathroom that gets completly neglected. After these 2 (3) months of depression creeping in and taking over my every move (it takes me 2-3 days to get one seemingly simple task done when I'm like this - and that's after I've finally motivated myself to get up and do it) the overwhelming urge to deep clean the toilet took over. I could not leave the bathroom one more time until it was clean. It's a good thing I keep my bathroom cleaning supplies in the bathroom or I would have been yelling at my husband to get the supplies from the closet for me!
Let me tell you... It was disgusting. Now, the seat... I've wiped that down a few times. I have Clorox or Lysol or whatever brand cleaning & disinfecting wipes that I've used so don't be too grossed out. But getting down there on the floor.... I decided that I wasn't going to be using my "Natural" cleaners. It was time to break out the bleach!
I heard my husband yelling at the television (the Bears game is on, you know) and telling Devin Hester to go for the record, "IT'S ALL YOURS MAN!!!" as I scrubbed away. I have to tell you that I feel so accomplished when I complete such a small task. How silly is it that getting the toilet back to the color it is supposed to be; completly clean and disinfected; makes me beam with a little pride thinking that I've done something really great?
Of course then, I come out of the bathroom, toss out the 20 (yes 20 - I cleaned the floor & the ledge of the baseboard wood too) paper towels and realize that I've truly done nothing. The "house" is still a mess... We have a huge pile of things that need to be donated to Salvation Army, a pile of things that I said, "Oh, let's just put that in storage" and you don't even want to look in our extra room - the room that's supposed to be all mine... The room we put the dogs in when we're gone & only have room to walk through. I want so much more. I want to clean out my nice walk-in closet and get rid of the "crap" that doesn't belong in there. I want to be one of those people that needs to have things clean and organized before she can go to bed.
I think I can see the steps that I need to take to get there but I feel as though I won't ever be able to accomplish this. I was going to take my last few days off of work this year to do some of it but then things came up & I took some Paid Time Off/Vacation.
I would just like to point out that I don't have children. I'm not saying that as an excuse like, "Oh, well she's busy with her children and besides that, as soon as you clean an area as a parent, the child comes through and makes a new mess." I'm saying it as in I feel as though I can barely clean up after myself (& the husband)! How ridiculous is that??? I'm 27 years old!! What's wrong with me?
Do any of you feel like this? Like even when you finish something & feel really great about it then all of a sudden you realize it's only been one task out of 100? What do you do to help yourself through it? How do you tackle the never-ending tasks and organization?
I Just Want to Be Ok by Sarah A. Manning is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
1 comment:
I understand. In fact, I usually clean the bathroom first because it's so small that I can finish it quickly, look around, and say "I just cleaned this whole room!"
I've found that I'm more likely to clean if I have people over on a semi-regular basis (which is hard to do when you're feeling depressed, but these things all tend to build on each other).
The items I really need to tackle are the closet in our office, and these wire storage cubes in the office that are filled with all the junk I don't know what to do with. Someday...
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